"What is your major?"

Remember how I declared a major recently? Well, don't be surprised... but it's changed. I reread over my bucket list/life-list/list of goals a week or two ago and read the words:

"Get a Bachelor's degree in something I love."

I have been so concerned with just getting my bachelor's, that I have stopped caring what it is in. And geography? Yes, I like geography, but I wouldn't say I love it. I think I first started changing it to make more money, but GEOGRAPHY? What kind of big money is there to earn in the field of geography? Right... That is why I no longer fear getting my degree in what I love: art. Yes, art. One of the most useless degrees ever. But I have had a strong impression to go into graphic design, which is great, because I could get an actual, money-making career out of that degree. But guess what? Weber doesn't offer a degree in graphic design. (this doesn't surprise me... I am loving, loving Weber State, but they don't really offer many degrees in which I am interested.) So, the tentative plan: move to Salt Lake in April/May when my contract is up, and transfer to the University of Utah, where I have known for a while that I would end up. I am excited about this. I promised myself I would stay in one place for a year, because I have moved 12+ times in the last five years or so. BUT I AM SO EXCITED.

Who knows anyway, maybe next week I will want to be a plumber..
Esta bien... and I would be a great plumber.

Oh, my mom is pretty stoked that I changed my mind to graphic design.
A) because it is "more fitting" and I already know that I love art
B) she is thoroughly convinced I should go into advertising and marketing. She think I am creative and clever, and so she is happy because this is "a step in the right direction" and getting closer to what she thinks I should do. Mother knows best after all.

On Hiking 'n Stuff.

"What are men to rocks and mountains?"

-Jane Austen

You know what? I have been out hiking the trail systems of Ogden like mad, I am absolutely in love with hiking. I have always liked it, but it has grown way beyond that "liking". I love it. It is all about me being surrounded with Mother Nature and God's beautiful earth. It is honestly where I am at my best and where I can get a natural and spiritual high. I find peace in hiking, I love the solitude that comes along with just being out on the trail or mountain on my own. I am learning a lot about myself, learning some of my strengths, improving my weaknesses, and shaping up my awesome calve muscles I was extremely self-conscience about in high school. My calves were a part of my body that I have never loved, until recently. I was teased and called "man-calves" because of how large they were. I was weird about wearing shorts and skirts and whatevers, but now, I want to show those babies off for they have been sculpted. Just another mini-bonus of hiking.
Summary of the post: I love hiking. I once hated my calves, which I don't hate anymore. And I love puppies and wish I had three of them and I would take them hiking with me. And how come I always forget what I intend to write about when I blog? Perhaps it's because I get distracted so easily. Gosh, I love the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The end.

Paulo is right you know...

On home and leaving town.

I was suppose to work today. I realllllly dislike working Sunday's. I like to have the day off so I can travel to my folk's home and spend time together as a family. With the recent news, this has become more important and I dare say, vital, for me to be able to do. Because I am not sure how life is ever going to play out, I need to make sure I prioritize in life. And in doing so, that puts family first. Today was wonderful, because the sous chef worked it so that I could have the day off to spend with my family, especially my mommy. I have incredible coworkers. Anyway, I went home, to my gorgeous valley, my country town where most of my growing up happened, to my folk's home. I spent the afternoon and evening with them, laughing, eating, then some time with Moo making caramel apples and "buckeyes." It was a great Sabbath day, one I really needed after learning about my mom's cancer. I love spending time with my family, I always have. My sister and her family should be coming out from Kentucky for a few weeks around Christmastime. I am so excited to have the whole family together again, it will have been almost two and a half years since we have all been together. Micheaux hasn't seen Colten and Braydon since they have returned from their LDS missions, and so the boys haven't met her two youngest children. It will be a beautiful reunion.
When I was leaving to return to my home tonight, I put an old mixed CD in and I was filled with a flood of nostalgia when I heard Dexter Freebish's "Leaving Town" start playing. I sometimes make moments for myself in life, so when I moved to college my freshman year, I played that song during my Hoytsville-exodus. I was so excited to leave town, move on, love a new place. I was tired of my hometown, I was ready for something new. In the words of the song, I had "lost all (my) feelings for this town."

"Oh your reputation is so golden

You're never lonely and you're never home

I know you've been talking about leaving

You've lost all your feelings for this town.

Paint your nails and put your lipstick

You don't want to miss your ticket out.

Just because you graduate from school

So high in the gene pool that's your point of view."

 Now, it is truly a treasure to go home. I look forward to visits, I love visiting. It's "home," and it always will be. I have found myself running back to that town, maybe not to stay put for long, but to seek comfort in a small town where everyone knows you and loves you for who you are.

"Nothing in life will ever come that easy.

Doesn't mean it has to be that hard.

I know you will find out who you are

But when you're broke and down and no one else is around.

You'll come running back to this town and

I'll be there, yeah I'll be there."

Confession: until recently, I thought I knew who I was. False. I knew pieces of who I am, and it's a question to me as to if I will ever FULLY realize just who I am. I like to think I will. Everyday I am learning more and more about what actually makes me, me. What do I like? What do I want to do? Am I doing and believing and saying things because that is what I want, think, and feel? Or am I doing it to make someone else happy?  I have been doing some serious thinking ever since I called off my engagement. I want to make sure I love myself fully, to be 100% comfortable in my own skin before I run off and get married to somebody. To accomplish my goals, and not drop everything I love, to accommodate somebody else. This is me-time. This is where I learn about me, what makes me tick, what drives me, and to find what I want from this life I have been given. 

So, pardon me while I figure myself out.

October: Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I love that we have a month dedicated to becoming aware of breast cancer. I hate cancer. I appreciate it when I see the football players wearing pink in support of breast cancer awareness, I see campaigns on campus, ads online, bracelets that say things about saving boobies. I love that.

Today I became aware.

My day was going well, I got up this morning, curled my hair, went to class looking absolutely adorable. Had a date planned for tonight, came home, worked on homework. Date got postponed. My mommy called to tell me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.. typical day. Wait! My mom has breast cancer?!? She found out earlier today and I am sick. Actually there isn't much I can do, but that is MY mom. I truly do not know what to think. I need to straighten out my life, that is all I know. Life is too short, too fragile. My mom is the most incredible mom I know. Call me biased, whatever. My mom has ALWAYS been there for me. She carried me for nine months, was there when I was born (hahaha, gotta keep things light), she did my hair super cute every single day all through childhood, she made me delicious grilled cheese sandwiches, was always home when I came home from school. She helped me with campaigning for student body office when I was in high school, took my friends and I toilet papering, always had dinner made, taught me how to treat men in my life (the positive things), she would take us shopping, made sure we always had nice things. She drove out to Laramie when she found out I was getting a divorce, let me move back into her and my daddy's home when I did get a divorce, she lets me call when my day sucks or will listen when I have fun things going on. She invited me to move back in when all my siblings get married and I am still single, ha ha. Even during this phone call, she broke the news to me but made sure to ask how things were with a boy I am crushing on. I love my mom. I hate cancer. I hope all will be well and she can fight this. 
Last year, my dad got diagnosed with colon cancer, I went and saw him everyday in the hospital after his surgery and while he was there. I love my parents, they are wonderful people. I would ask 'why', but there are no answers and certainly no relief in asking 'why,' just anger and bitterness. Keep my mom in your prayers please, this is MY mommy we are talking about.

Please spread and support breast cancer awareness this month, this is my personal, close-to-home, request.

Sharing Compliments

Today I received a wonderful compliment. My Canadian friend from accounting told me after class: "You are always so classy, you wear dresses and skirts and always look good. I just wear t-shirts and shorts, I feel lazy." He was super sweet in saying so, I strive to look classy, well and be classy in general. I explained to him that I like dressing up, because at work, I don't get to look cute and "classy," I just wear t-shirts and checkered chef pants. It really made my day for him to say that to me, plus it is nice to know that men think such kind things. 

I try to always share compliments that I think to myself, because you never know who's day you are going to make! (Or who you will weird out- haha) One of my neighbors said to me in passing last week, "Gosh, you have beautiful hair! I wish I could grow my hair that long, wow, beautiful hair.." It was completely unexpected but certainly appreciated and welcomed. She and I have never exchanged conversation. When I walk by and actually see her, she is usually in her Honda jamming out to Metallica or Slayer with her electric guitar, sitting in the drivers seat. It really brightened my day. Compliments from strangers are the best, because they are sincere and not expected or forced. Just from the heart.

Go out and share some kind, sincere thoughts and compliments people! Let's spread some joy and love to those who need it or don't expect it.

Doin' it anyway!

You know what? I have always wanted to do/try a whole slew of different things. But alas, I have been waiting around for a friend or boyfriend who would want to do them with me. Wellllll guess what? I am yet to do/try a myriad of the things I have wanted to. Nothing is stopping me now. This week alone: I ate Indian alone, because I have been wanting it. I went for a drive up the canyon to see all the beautiful colors of fall: because I wanted to. I went for a gorgeous hike up Ogden Canyon this morning before work, because I love hiking and seeing this amazing change of seasons and this spectacular Earth that our Father in Heaven has graciously blessed us with. Alllllll byyyyyy myself. As stupid as this may sound: I am proud of myself for just going and doing it alone. I have ALWAYS had someone to do things with me, until now. And that is okay, I am just glad I am finally realizing that I am excellent company and that I should spend more time (besides reading books, watching movies, and listening to music on my own), but that I should spend more time going out with myself. I am such a dork, but I am dating me. Why not? I am hot and and I am great company. I win.
Oh besides doing these fantastic things just for me, I also spoiled myself this week. I bought a new Nalgene bottle, which I am ridiculously stoked about, and I bought a gorgeous orange/powder blue cushioned bench to put at the foot of my bed. Did I need the second item? NO. Do I absolutely love and adore it? YES. Could I say no to the amazing clearance price it had on it? Probably, BUT I DIDN'T. I love it. And I truly did need the water bottle.
On a sad note, I think my iPod gave up the ghost today. At least it went out while listening to Simon and Garfunkel  Ideal fall time driving music.
Oh! One last thing I did for myself this week: I read a book! I love reading, and lately I haven't been reading for pleasure. My dad asked me recently if I have been reading like I use to, I had to tell him no. I think my folks are concerned about me giving up things that I love to do. So I am happy to report I read a book this week!! On a topic I enjoy learning about: Serial Killers. Call me weird, but I like to learn about their minds and what drives them to do what they do. I read a book a guy in my ward let me borrow: "Manson, In His Own Words" next is "Helter Skelter" or "Fast Food Nation," because food and nutrition are more positive, uplifting interests of mine. Hahaha

So next on the list:

• Start living my bucket list! Get somethings checked off.
• Look into purchasing a new iPod. (Christmas is coming.... hmmmm. I can justify this.)
• Read more books! 
• Go on another hike or two before it snows, and enjoy the hell out of fall.
• Continue loving life.

Beautiful girls.

Chick flicks..

Must Love Dogs = my life. Kinda. But seriously.

I have been on this ridiculous kick of watching chick flicks. I love them. But they are not realistic, although they make you feel good... And lousy, all at the same time. Incredible.

"The Only Thing You Can Change"

I stole this from a link my friend put on Facebook (disclaimer!) and found it moving. (It is uncopyrighted, by the way.)

http://mnmlist.com/

The Only Thing You Can Change

You can’t change your entire life.

You can only change your next action.
—
You can’t change a relationship with a loved one.

You can only change your next interaction.
—
You can’t change your entire job.

You can only change your next task.
—
You can’t change your body composition.

You can only change your next meal.
—
You can’t change your fitness level.

You can only start moving.
—
You can’t declutter your entire life.

You can only choose to get rid of one thing, right now.
—
You can’t eliminate your entire debt.

You can only make one payment, or buy one less unnecessary item.
—
You can’t change the past, or control the future.

You can only change what you’re doing right now.
—
You can’t change everything.

You can only change one, small thing.

And that’s all it takes.

Nice and Easy

Let's take it nice and easy
It's gonna be so easy
For us to fall in love

Hey baby what's your hurry
Relax and don't you worry
We're gonna fall in love

We're on the road to romance - that's safe to say
But let's make all the stops along the way

The problem now of course is
To simply hold your horses
To rush would be a crime
'Cause nice and easy does it every time
Nice and Easy by Frank Sinatra


I have been following this advice of "Nice and Easy" ever since I heard this song on Pandora. I am super impatient and try to rush my life along quickly all too often, sometimes it's best I remember to take it nice and easy to also relax and don't worry. Frank Sinatra is amazing and one of my favorites, I oftentimes will put Sinatra on at work and enjoy his pleasant crooning voice along with the other voices of the Rat Pack, especially Dean Martin. 
Croooooon me silly, baby. For now, I am doing my best to slow down and take it easy. 
Breathe, girl.

Advice from Bob.

“Let it happen, let it happen … we don't make mistakes, as you know. All we do is have happy accidents in our world. So the worst thing that can happen here is wonderful. Don't worry about it ... don't worry about it …” 

–Bob Ross, 1994

On Dave Grohl.

I once gave up an opportunity to see my amazing, celebrity boyfriend David Grohl perform with the Foo Fighters, to go on a date. 

NEVER AGAIN.

Now the Foo Fighters, who have been performing together for 18 years, are on a hiatus. Great. Any man who would have been worth it, would have gone with me or encouraged me to go to the concert.

I am going to be true to myself from now on.... No more giving up opportunities to see great bands for...

 "a guy."

Hi, I'm on a date.

..... With myself. I was taught in the rules of being alone to go on dates by myself, or to dinner or basically whatever you choose to call it. So here I sit, at The Star of India in Salt Lake City, in solitude. Not to mention it's a quarter to three. Weird time, I am aware. Well this whole situation may seem weird, but I am enjoying the solitude. Today, I am walking home from school and I decided I am getting Indian food, why? Because I love it! My former fiancé was not a fan (although he had pretended to be in our first conversations). I am single, I love Indian, this meal is prepaid... What do I have to lose? Nothing. I'd probably be doing nothing productive anyway- let's be honest! I managed to get my homework finished early today, I had the day off, I went and sought academic advisement. It's been a good Monday! I saw several friends, one I haven't seen since high school, he was kind, said I looked really good and that "the years have been kind to me." What a compliment!! The weather is gorgeous, I'm happy and healthy. I am declaring a major! (I know, I seem to change this a lot...) I am still studying nutrition, but Weber only offers a minor so that is my minor, but I am getting a degree in geography with an emphasis in environmental studies. Why? Read a book by Michael Pollan and then ask me again. I want to encourage sustainable and humane growing and raising of the food that ends up on your table. (plus I really need to finish my bachelors and it seems fitting- at least in my mind, which no one can argue and win against). Especially since I have been considering it for a while. So, I am not ditching my focus in nutrition, it's there. But I finally decided on an actual, existing major (one that I don't have to "create"). I think. Fickle, much?

Well, The Star of India is DELICIOUS and I plan on returning and sharing with others. I had chicken vindaloo, PLENTY for enjoying later. Nan was wonderful, and the chai... Mmm. And the vegetable pakoras... although this is the best way to ruin the nutritional value of vegetables: ohhhhhh yummmmmmy. I would certainly recommend it.

After some delicious food, I drove over to Taylorsville to visit my Gramps, Grandpa T. He lives in assisted living due to his severe condition of Alzheimer's Disease. He has no idea who I am, but I felt good by visiting him because sometimes I am super selfish and this is a good way to step out of my comfort zone and "serve" others. I took him some treats because he loves to eat. I miss my gramps, especially his mind. He has taught me a lot in life, how to garden and love to eat fresh vegetables out of the garden, to love to read, he gave me one of my favorite books of all time, Mystery Mountain, which I wrote SEVERAL book reports on. He loved my grandma so very much and served her and let us grandchild witness his love and service to her. Their love is/was sweet and one to be admired. I want to achieve incredible milestones that they achieved  such as having a close family, spending 50+ years of marriage, having a beautiful home and yard. :) Anyway, I love my family and sure appreciate the examples they have all set for me and my life.